Dry.

I'm reading Augusten Burrough's memoir about his struggle with alcoholism called "Dry." They should use this excerpt as a teaser to advertise the book:

"I turn on Channel 18, the Discovery Channel. Zebras. The announcer says, "...the female zebra is winking her vulva to attract a mate." Sure enough, it winks.

Then the boy zebra mounts the girl. And I think, Why do they call it hung like a horse?' It should be 'hung like a zebra.' Its penis was at least half the length of its body. The zebras fuck.

It occurs to met that my sober life now includes watching animal pornography.

Depressed, I shut the TV off and go to sleep. I dream about winking zebra vulva's and swinging zebra penises all night long."

Effing amazing.