Neither a Fortune or True

I just ordered Chinese take-out. The fortune in my cookie read: "A good way to keep healthy is to eat more Chinese food."

A couple of things about that...

1)Unless prepared in the blandest of ways (for example, in a bamboo steamer), Chinese food is right up there with Paula Dean's cooking in the pyramid of colon-cloggingly awful junk food.

2)Not only was that "fortune" a bald-faced promotional lie, it wasn't even a fortune!

Another memorable fortune I received (from the same restaurant, mind you) would have to be, "Human invented language to satisfy the need to complain."

No, that wasn't a typo when I spelled 'human' without an s, even though 'human' was clearly being used in the plural sense. Mr.Fortune-cookie-author, if you happen to be reading this, I think it's also possible that HUMANS invented language to satisfy the need to express themselves coherently- something that's still proving to be a feat for you to conquer.

You amuse me Mr.Fortune-cookie-author. If you promise to keep the ironic non-fortunes coming, I'll promise to keep up the healthy habit of ordering Chinese take out.